2010 In Review

Instead of recapping the entire year, which is never any kind of fun, I will just go over some of the highlights of 2010.  It was a pretty damn good year.

-I finally bought a laptop, which has pretty much been the best investment ever.  Sitting on the couch while writing these posts is much better than sitting at a desk.  Speaking of posts, 2010 was my busiest year with over 300 posts.  That is kind of exciting (or lame depending on your POV).

-I went to a bunch of sporting events this year.  A few in Pittsburgh, a couple in Altoona, and one over at State College.  I also got to enjoy tailgating for the Blue/White game and the Temple game.  I even made a trip to Washington D.C. to see the Nationals and Pirates play.  Speaking of awesome sporting events, I experienced two firsts:  my first Pens game and my first regular season Steelers game.  I also got to see Stephen Strasburg make his minor league debut against the Curve.

-This was also a very sad year since two of my favorite TV shows ended:  Lost and 24.  I actually did a couple of special things to commemorate such great shows (even though 24 constantly pissed me off with some of its stupid story lines).  My Best of 24 was pretty cool (at least I thought so), yet none of you jerks commented on it.  Also, I was so impressed with my Lost GOTW and the amount of work I put into it, and again, no one really noticed.  I think it caused me to die a little inside that no one said how awesome it was...

I will post it again for your enjoyment, only in a slightly smaller version.  Do not strain your eyes too much trying to enjoy all the hotties.

-There were plenty of great TV shows in 2010.  In fact, this year was a much better television than movie year.  Mad Men, Always Sunny, Justified, Boardwalk Empire, Treme, True Blood, Sons of Anarchy, Archer, The Walking Dead, and The League.  Also there were plenty of enjoyable shows like Warehouse 13, Eureka, White Collar, Human Target, and Supernatural.  I am sure I am forgetting some.

-Speaking of movies, what all did I see this year?  Iron Man 2, Inception, Kick-Ass, Hot Tub Time Machine, The Social Network, The Disappearance of Alice Creed, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Sherlock Holmes, The Chronicles of Narnia:  Voyage of the Dawn Treader and Daybreakers. I really feel like I went to the movies more than this, but I guess I did not.  I think there were a few movies I saw that were just crappy and I did not care about.

-I will not list all the books I read over 2010.  It was not nearly as many as years past, I think my total was only thirteen.  Granted, five of those books were around 1000 pages each, so it was probably about the same amount of reading as previous years.

-The biggest thing to happen in 2010 though was the changes in my life.  I met Lindsey and we moved in together up here in New Germany.  She makes me incredibly happy and I feel like a better person because of her.  If she is reading up to this point, I hope she knows how much I love her.  Sorry to the rest of you for having to read a little personal stuff.

-Now on to the best of list...

Best Movie:  This is a tough one, it comes down to Kick-Ass and Inception.  Many people will say The Social Network was the best movie, and I definitely thought it was good, but I look at it from the stand point of which movie will I watch more than once?  Which of those movies will I stop when I see they are on HBO and watch them from wherever they are in the film.  I would have to say that award goes to Kick-Ass.

Best TV Show:  All those great shows listed above, yet it comes down to two:  Mad Men and Sons of Anarchy.  I could not wait every week to watch these two shows.  And I usually watched the episodes again during their reshowing.  SOA was great, but did not compare to last season and at times I felt like the Tara storyline was dragging on.  MM does not have the action, but it just holds you in it's thrall each week.  It is hard to explain to people why it is such a good show.  Anyways, that was the best show in my opinion.

Best Book:  Only three of the books I read this year actually came out in 2010.  I think the best one of that small group was Are We Winning?  It was a great book and I pretty much recommend it to any baseball fan.

Best Comic Book:  I will not lie, I have not read many comics this year.  In fact, I stopped getting individual issues and decided just to get trades.  Of everything I read, I would say that The Walking Dead is still the best on-going series I read.  Maybe 2011 will be a better year.

Anyways, that is my thoughts on 2010.  Who knows what 2011 will hold for me...

24: The Wake

Now that 24 is over, I thought it would be a fun idea to look at some of my favorite things about the show.  Despite some bad seasons and some stupid story lines, it was one of my favorite shows of all time.  One thing I can say about it, the series always knew how to have a fantastic premiere.  The first couple episodes were always some of the best and then it would pretty much fizzle out with watered down or recycled plots.  Anyways, let us celebrate the good and ignore the bad...

Favorite Season:  Day Four
Reason:  Season one was pretty good, but for me, season four will always stick out as the one that blew my mind.  There was a very good bad guy terrorist, who was actually quite scary, Marwan.  CTU has to kidnap someone from the Chinese Embassy, and it does not go well.  The season ends with the Chinese wanting Jack Bauer, the President ordering his own Secret Service Agent try to kill Jack, and then Jack faking his own death.  It was also the first season I actually sat and watched every week.

Also there were so many great moments, such as Jack rescuing Audrey (wish she would have died) and her father from Marwan's men.  He did it by himself and took out like eight guys.  And that was just the beginning.  Jack tortures Audrey's ex-husband, in front of Audrey, with a lamp.


Favorite Torture Method:  Towel Method.
I realize that Jack did not actually do this, instead he just threatened a guy with it.  It sounded so scary the guy told him everything. This came from season one.  Here is the quote:

You probably don't think I could force this towel down your throat, but trust me I can. All the way. Except that I'd hold onto this little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest the towel, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. Most people probably take about a week to die. It's very painful.

Favorite Sub-Plot:  Tony and Michelle
In season two they slowly develop the love interest, but by season four the two are no longer together.  Tony is a loser.  Jack needs his help and he cleans himself up.  Tony and Michelle fight at first, but then by the end of the season are back to where they were.  And then it all goes to hell.  I was always rooting for those two crazy kids.

Favorite Dead Character:  George Mason
Mason started as the character you believed was somehow involved with the terrorists.  Everything the guy did seemed to go against Jack.  He just seemed like a sleezeball.  Then he gets hit with radiation and does the most noble thing ever, he flies the plane into the desert carrying a nuclear bomb.  And even in the end, he is still a jerk about things.

When Jack realizes George is on the plane, he pulls his gun, George makes a joke about "the service being bad enough, he doesn't need to shoot him."  Also, he makes Jack look like an idiot about wanting to sacrifice himself instead of facing his own life.  He went from guy I could not stand, to the guy I wish was still around...

Favorite Girl:  Renee Walker
The cute red-headed FBI agent stole Jack's heart, then took a few bullets.  She started out as a by the books kinda girl and then turned into Jack's protege.  She defied orders from her bosses, tortured a guy in the hospital, and then topped it all off by cutting a Russian guys thumb off to remove a US Marshall's bracelet.  One of the best moments in series history.


Best Kill:  Jugular
This was actually a tough debate for me.  Most people would say the Season Two kill of Marshall Goren (remember from episode one, Jack needed to kill him to prove his cover for a domestic terror group) or the kick-ass knife throw from this season (you know the episode where Jack removes the knife from his gut and tosses it at a Russian).

However, for me there are two awesome kills that stick out.  The first one comes from this season, where Jack kills the guy with an ax.  The reason it was so good, the camera stops on the empty case where an ax should be and the blood on the wall.  The bad guy should put two and two together and realize that Jack is waiting for him with an ax.

The best kill though comes from season six, after Jack is released by the Chinese and given to the terrorist Abu Fayed to be tortured.  Fayed gives his plans away to Jack and then leaves the room.  Jack kills the guard by tearing out his throat with his teeth!  That is pretty freakin' bad-ass!

Favorite President:   David Palmer
We have had six presidents during the course of this show.  Six!  We have only had five presidents during my lifetime.  I have no idea what year it would technically be in the final season (I just looked it up, 2016), but that seems like a ridiculous amount to me.  David Palmer seemed like a good president, mainly because he almost always listened to Jack.  That should be the lesson to all presidents:  Jack is never wrong.  Let us examine the presidents of this show...
David Palmer:  Almost went to war with three countries, gets booted from office, but then reinstated because Jack is always right.  Wife was crazy and helped the terrorists in order to get closer to him...
John Keeler:  Gets blown out of the sky, loses nuclear football.  Way to go jackass...
Charles Logan:  Ended up being the main bad guy of season five.  Almost allowed the Russian president to be assassinated.  Yeah, he sucked.
Wayne Palmer:  He could have been a great president, but then he started having issues with seeming like a weak president and made a bunch of stupid mistakes.  Then has a cerebral hemorrhage...
Noah Daniels:  He just seemed like a dick.  Plus he did not listen to Jack, always a mistake.
Allison Taylor:  The latest moron for president.  She irritated me.

Favorite CTU Agent:  Curtis Manning
We have had some pretty good agents with Jack:  Tony, Ronnie (season four guy who beat Jack down and then gets shot), Mike, Cole...but above them all was Curtis Manning.

Curtis had no problem doing whatever Jack said, he may sometimes try to offer the voice of reason or occasionally pull a gun on Jack, but most of the time he knew Jack was right.

Actually, he had one of the lamest deaths ever.  Going against his nature, he will not allow Jack to help a former terrorist who killed his unit or something.  Jack shoots him in the neck and kills him.  I could have watched a spin-off series with him.

Favorite CTU Computer Person Not Named Chloe:  Edgar Stiles
Do you remember Edgar?  The nervous-nancy who always gave in to whatever Chloe wanted, but was superscared of getting caught.  He was what you expect of a geeky computer nerd.  Then he died from nerve gas.  I think I almost cried that day.

Favorite Terribly Used Character:  Mandy

Do you remember Mandy?  I sure do.  She was the anti-Jack.  Super badass assassin, always cloaked in mystery.  She would show up out of nowhere and cause damage and then disappear.  I loved her.  I always felt that she was part of a larger storyline, but then she just got written off.  I wonder if in season one they planned on using her more, but then later wanted to go into that whole Jack's family was really behind everything.  At least she ended up alive, better than any other villain on the show.

Some highlights from Mandy's short career:
-Starts the show off by blowing up a plane and then parachuting out of it.
-Attempts to assassinate President David Palmer with a toxin.
-Kills her own boyfriend to escape.
-She beats down Tony and tries to use him as an escape plan against Michelle.

Oh and she was super hot and possibly a lesbian.

Well that wraps up some of my favorite things from such a good show.  I will try to forget all the idiotic subplots that made me want to gouge out my eyes.

24: 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m.

I have to say that this series finale was kind of a letdown.  The last few episodes have been pretty damn awesome, but this one was a bit boring.

-Jack putting the gun to Jason's head in the back of the car was pretty great.  I bet Jason crapped his pants.  Actually after Jack made him suture his wound, then had him get on his knees, I guarantee Jason soiled himself.  Nice to see Jack knock him out and have that look of complete irritation that he could not bring himself to kill Jason.

-President Taylor threatening Dalia was actually pretty cool.  I wish she could have went through with it instead of having a moment of conscience.

-Jack's plan seems pretty lame.  Chloe will get the proof out there by shooting Jack in the arm?  Nothing could possibly go wrong.  How hard would it be for them to just email this to a bunch of newspapers, or hell, upload it to YouTube?  You could do this from a phone.

-It ends with the President admitting everything, her telling Jack to run for it.  Now Jack is escaping the country (set up for a movie?) and that is that.  I would have preferred either Jack dying, maybe Jack doing something insane, like killing the Russian President and maybe even President Taylor.  That way he could go from the hero to the villain.  This ending just seemed weak, like they had done it before...maybe back when Jack faked his death, sound familiar?

Ugh.  Here is a decent review of the finale.

24: 1:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m.

I am now officially scared (and in awe) of Jack Bauer.  This entire episode was awesome.  Jack kidnaps President Logan, threatens to kill him, then takes out the Russian ambassador...with what looks like a fireplace poker. 

-Jack dressed in full body armor and wearing a mask might be have been the coolest thing ever.  Very effective as well, as Logan screams out "Did you hear what I said?  That's Jack Bauer!"  That guy should win an award because I was convinced that he was actually shitting his pants.

-To make the scene better, he stands on the hood of the limo and shoots at the windshield until it cracks, then drops in some tear gas and then covers the hole with his foot.  Honestly, the way that scene was shot was just super cool.

-Did everyone else get upset that they did not show how Jack killed everyone at the Russian place?  It was probably the best way of showing that scene though.  Just a bunch of dead bodies and the ambassador lying there with a poker sticking out of his guts.  Again, very cool.

-I guess Meredith's editor is some kind of moron.  He is going to call the Justice Department regarding a Presidential cover up?  Remember what happened when Jack went to Secretary of Defense Heller (Jack's girlfriend's dad) about President Logan's involvement?  Heller wanted to use it to blackmail the President.  Why would this be any different?  She should have just been like "Oh, the FBI is there?  I will go to the NY Times, or CNN, or any other media outlet."  Hell TMZ would work just fine.

-I really, really thought that Chloe was going to bring in Tony Almeida.  The way she said that there was one person who could go to Ricker, I just assumed she meant Tony, not Cole.

-Speaking of Cole, I am still not sure how I feel about him at the moment.  This whole "I do not agree with Jack's revenge, but I also want to expose the cover up" thing is pretty lame.  I hope Jack just shoots him at some point. 

-The ending with Jack listening in to Logan and Subarov's (I am way too lazy to look up how to spell his name) phone call was awesome.  Even at a point where Jack is now just a homicidal maniac, he still has the foresight to plant a bug on Logan.

Needless to say, I am excited about the finale.  Way more excited for the finale this season than I have been in years for a 24 finale.

24: 12:00 p.m. to 1:00 p.m.

This episode started out way too boring.  And then, things went a little crazy.  The Russian team sent to kill Jack plays right into his hand.  He and Michael Madsen capture Pavel by using the reporter as bait.  Jack manages to kill the entire Russian team and escape Jason's detection.

Jack then begins to torture Pavel.  He starts with pliers and instead of breaking a finger, he goes for the stomach.  After beating the crap out of him, Jack starts using a blow torch.  Unfortunately Pavel will not talk.  Well unfortunately for Pavel, awesome for us.  I am not sure if Jack uses the blow torch on Pavel's crotch or just on his stomach.  Pavel still does not talk.

Jack gets frustrated and starts looking at Pavel's phone, and then realizes the SIM card is missing.  He searches for it and then calls Pavel a dumb bastard for swallowing it.  He then gives Pavel a live autopsy to remove the card.  He dials the last number, and gets Charles Logan's voice mail.  That guy has to be shitting his pants right now.

There was one stupid moment that I have to address.  Chloe and Arlo set up an alternate network using a Sprint Mobile Hotspot!  I realize that product placement happens, especially during this show, but come on, could Chloe sound more like a commercial?

24: 11:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.

This was a pretty decent episode.  There were a few silly things that could have made it dumb, but then it ended well, so that made it all better.   Basically, Jack and Cole must rescue Dana and then force her to tell them where the evidence is located.  Easy, right?  Actually for Jack, this is an easy one.

-When someone gets knocked out by Jack, are they automatically out for ten minutes?  He knocked the guy out on the roof and just left him there.  What if the dude just got up like two minutes later and went behind them and shot them both?  At least tie him down...

-Jack shooting the torturer holding Dana was great.  The fact that he tries to reason with Jack by saying that the shot is too risky.  HA, guess he never read Jack's file.  I love how there was no hesitation.  The sentence barely ends and Jack "pops a hydroshock in his melon."  To steal a line from Training Day.

-So that is water-boarding?  Not what I pictured, nor does it really seem all that bad.  Usually how I start my morning...

-Now Jack's method for information extraction was much more effective:  stick a gun to Dana's chest and demand the information by the count of three...

-Who the hell has a flash-bomb in a safety deposit box?  Along with a gun and a silencer?  Talk about being prepared.  Will we learn that Dana is really some highly trained super spy? 

-When Jack finally catches up with her and he forces her to give up the evidence, we get the feeling that Jack might let her go (which would have really sucked), and then at the last moment he puts two bullets in her without any remorse.  Good for Jack.  Although, Dana might be the ultimate manipulator.  I guarantee when Cole sees that she is dead he will want to take Jack down.  He is going to get beat down in a heartbeat. 

-At what point will Chloe start helping Jack because she does not like the guy from Logan's camp?  I say next episode...

24: 10:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m.

-The beginning of the show dealt with umm, something.  The President could not decide on whether or not to listen to Jack (she at first decides to be honest and back out of the peace treaty) and then she listens to Logan and decides to go through with the lies.  In fact, she takes it further, they will now move Dana to a place and torture her.

-Did the guy selling Jack those cell phones not think it was weird that he bought like three phones and did not care about the chargers?  To me, that would raise some kind of red-flag, but what the hell do I know?

-It was cool that Jack went to an old friend, especially one that we have never seen before.  I guess Jack saved his life or something and now Michael Madsen owes him a favor.  In theory though, everyone in the country owes Jack a favor. 

-How come no one ever screws up and accidentally stays on the wrong line.  "Okay Cole, Jack is on his way to your location."  "Chloe, this is still Jack, wrong line."  Probably why I do not work at CTU.

-Jack knew it would be a trap, obviously.  Does Chloe honestly think she could outsmart Jack Bauer?  I will agree with Scotus at DC Universe:  

-- Man, I hate seeing Jack and Chloe fight. It's like seeing your parents fight. In particular, hearing Chloe ask Jack if he was threatening her, kind of broke my heart.

-So now we have Cole and Jack on the same side.  So much for my dream of them duking it out.  Pretty sure it would only last three seconds.  I am guessing they make an unstoppable team.

24: 9:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m.

I was so excited at the onset of this episode.  I figured Jack would be all badass and ready to go out and kill every single Russian involved.  Well Jack may not have killed anyone, but at least we got the scary Jack back.

When he smashes Dana's head off the table (I was reminded of the Joker telling Batman "never start with the head!") I got excited for some hardcore torture.  Unfortunately it ended rather abruptly and then the President decided to wuss out and go for peace built upon lies.

Needless to say, Jack is not happy.  He steals a helicopter and decides to go rogue.  If Cole is planning on being the next Jack Bauer in a spin-off series, he better man up and start helping Jack.  I am guessing that Jack will try to break Dana out of CTU or kidnap Charles Logan.  Or he will go straight for the Russian delegate. 

Speaking of sneaky Russians.  Did anyone else notice that the delegates name is Mikhail Novakovich?  Remember the old aide to Charles Logan and David Palmer, Mike Novick?  I wonder if the writers did that intentionally.  I also wonder if Charles Logan is really behind the whole thing?

24: 8:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m.

This episode was very boring.  Well aside from Jack informing everyone that he was taking Renee home (I am pretty sure he gave Cole a little nudge nudge).  Once they get home, they have sex.  Is this the first time Jack has ever had sex on the show?  And didn't Renee have sex with Vladimir a few hours ago? 

My theory about Hassan's wife is pretty much coming true.  She is taking over for her husband and going to go ahead with the peace treaty.  The Russians have pulled out though and sent someone to kill Jack and Renee.  It was actually pretty shocking to see Renee die. 

The plot will steam roll out of control now.  Bad Guy President Logan is up to something.  Now Jack wants to go after whoever killed Renee. 

Honestly though, how can this show end that will be satisfying?  Does Jack have to die doing something heroic?  Maybe fly into space and stop aliens?  I am serious, there is nothing he can do that will be good enough for fans of the series.  Instead of dying he could be given the title of Supreme Commander-In-Chief.  His power goes above the president when it comes to terrorism.  He would cause world peace in about two hours.

24: 6:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m.

I really thought this was the season finale.  I mean, this would have been a somewhat decent ending.  Oh, I should probably let you know what happened.  Actually, you can probably figure out what happened.  The terrorists do not set off the bomb, instead Hassan agrees to give himself to them in exchange for the bomb.

-Dana almost kills Arlo because he walks in on her doing something shady, but then he just leaves and allows her to continue being a mole.  Way to go Arlo.  At least he realized at the end that maybe he should pay more attention to people than just their boobs. 

-Here is what does not make sense to me:  if Hassan dies, the peace process dies with him.  However, if he lives, the terrorists will set off the bomb, which will cause President Taylor to strike Hassan's country, which to me seems like the worst way to achieve peace.  Anyone else see the stupidity in the whole thing?

-Check out what Scotus writes about the weird time difference at the end.  It made no sense that Hassan appeared to be dead for more than like two minutes.  I will say that this was very unexpected, not the time conundrum, but instead the fact that Jack failed to stop the terrorists.

-Is Dana going to let anyone know that she stuffed Milton into a wall panel?  That is going to start to smell.  Also, speaking of Dana.  I hope when Jack comes back to CTU, he puts a bullet right in her head.  And then says something cheesy like "your deal has been revoked."  Or something.

-I just cannot imagine where this story could possibly go, especially how it could involve Jack.  The Russians are going to pull out of the peace talks, Bad Guy President Logan will try to help, what will Jack do?  Is Hassan's wife going to try to unite her country and become the leader?  Will Jack have to escort her back to the United Nations?  Seriously, does anyone have any idea how this could possibly be good?

-Anyways, as the season winds down, I am working on a post about the entire series.  It will be pretty sweet, I promise.

24: 5:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m.

Way to go 24, nothing like bringing back the CTU mole and the government dissension plot in the same season.  A general decides to send in an elite team to capture Hassan and turn him over to the terrorists.  Obviously the president foresaw this and sends Jack Bauer to escort Hassan. 

The worst part about the episode though, why did the service tunnel underneath the UN look like some hoarders garage.  There were pallets of wood chips (it looked like wood chip bags to me, since my mom always gets a pallet of wood chips) and random barrels everywhere.  Why the hell would this stuff be underneath the UN and why would it be so cluttered?

It was awesome watching Jack take down an elite team all by himself.  I guess that one chick helped and President Hassan did take out someone, but really Jack did all the work himself.  I bet he regrets not throwing some grenades into his purse.

Jack now has one of the soldiers under his custody, maybe there will be a civil war because of this general's actions.  I really hope Jack tortures the shit out of Dana for making us sit through that entire Kevin story.

24: 4:00 a.m. to 5:00 a.m.

Talk about symmetry.  At least that is what I am hoping the writers were trying to achieve by making Dana the mole.  Season one it turned out to be Nina, the chick Jack had a thing with.  This year they introduce us to Cole, maybe someone they could continue doing the show with if Kiefer leaves or retires.  He has a girlfriend, who has a similar position as Nina...see where the symmetry comes in?  Or it was just absolutely lazy writing.  You decide.

Although Dana strangling Stephen Root was pretty cool.  Sadly, last two shows he has been on, he dies very painful deaths.

Chloe was badass during her takeover of the servers.  I really thought she would die though.  I am always waiting for her to bite the bullet.  I figured her plan would work, everything would get back online, then there would be a fire and she would die trying to put it out.

Why the hell would anyone ever not listen to Jack Bauer?  Stay behind this shield wall.  Yes sir.  I am doing exactly whatever you say.  I feel bad for Owen, I liked him.  He did last a few episodes longer than I thought he would.

It is also about time that the terrorists recognize Jack.  I mean seriously, he has to be a celebrity in the counter-terrorism community by now.

Renee came to the rescue, which reminded me of season four (maybe?) when Tony came to the rescue in a similar fashion.  Also, Jack has a collapsed lung, but he will probably be fine.  In fact, he will go out and kick ass like normal.

24: 3:00 a.m. to 4:00 a.m.

This was hyped as episode with a "twist you will not believe."  The twist ends up being that CTU gets attacked by terrorists.  This time with an EMP bomb.  Seriously, I feel like most of this season was taken from the Ocean's XX script.

Basically the twist was Tarren pretends to help Kayla escape, unfortunately it was a set up.  He pretends to die and she escapes to CTU, carrying the bomb.  Jack and Cole are now on their own without any kind of techno-help.

I was happy to see Jack realize quickly that Tarren was pretending to be a cop.  You know why he realized it?  That is the exact same thing he would do in that situation.  They are doing a great job of setting up the Jack vs. Tarren battle, they better not let us down.

Also, I do believe at some point we will see a Jack vs. Cole fight.  Probably because Jack will be ordered to do something and he will go against it and Cole will try to stop him...we have seen it before.

At least House was pretty funny...

24: 2:00 a.m. to 3:00 a.m.

I have decided to write about tonight's episode of 24 live while I watch it.  Probably will be a pretty stupid idea, but now that I have a laptop, it seems like such a great idea.  Speaking of the new laptop, it crapped the bed on Sunday.  I went to Best Buy today and traded it in for a nicer one.  It was the one I looked at for a long time the other day, yet I decided it was too expensive.  Anyways, since this one is much faster and more powerful than the other, I have decided to sell my desktop to my brother (I cut him a VERY good deal)...anyways, the show starts in about twenty minutes, join me for the stupidity...

Opening
Why the hell wouldn't Hastings have sent someone to get Bomb Kid's mother as soon as they knew his identity?  Only Jack would think of something like this?  No wonder CTU sucks at keeping terrorists away.

Well at least Hastings gave Freddie Prinze and Dana a nice lecture.  I would have fired them.  And now Chloe is in charge, which is great.  She is obviously the smartest person CTU has ever hired. 

2:13
Awe Chloe is such a great team leader.  Those words of encouragement were great.  Unfortunately Dana is acting like a megabitch.

Arlo better turn out to be the criminal mastermind behind everything.  He is funny, slightly pervish, and much more fun than any of the normal villains.

Jack begging a kid not to blow himself up, and wanting to talk about the situation instead of just shooting or torturing.  Jack is truly a changed man.  Do not worry though, he will threaten the kids mom sooner or later...

2:23
Oh Kayla, lean up please.  I just want to see her breasts.

Cole definitely played it cool with Marcos' mom.  Instead of going the anger route and arresting her, he realized she was genuinely shocked that her son could be a terrorist.  It will make it even cooler if Jack puts a bullet in her leg.

2:33
It looks like Mr. James is okay after exploding all over Jason Stackhouse (notice that I mixed two different shows there?  Yeah, I am awesome.) 

It appears that Dana is still mildly retarded after this whole ordeal.  I really do not think this guy is actually the probation officer.  I bet he is Kevin's father or other partner in crime.  Or gay lover.  One of those options.

Death to America!!!  Except, well my mom.  Please spare her.  I think Marcos might be the dumbest kid ever.  Oh wait, never mind.  He will stick to his principles.  And now Jack will start the threatening.  Oh god, I am getting excited.  I think that makes me a sick individual...

"Go ahead and blow yourself to tiny bits.  I am going to make your mother come in there and clean it up."

I have missed this Jack Bauer so much.  I think I am about to orgasm right now.

And then he threw the kid into the chamber and watched him explode.  And it turns out I was completely wrong about Tarren.  Oops, I guess maybe President Hassan was right about being  paranoid.

2:52
Did Tarren just take a one minute shower?  His hair is not even wet.  I thought I took quick showers.  I was really hoping Kayla would turn out to be in on the plot.  She would have made the hottest 24 villain of all time. 

I guess we will see a Jack versus Tarren hand-to-hand battle at some point.  Although if Owen gives him a beat down, he will totally redeem himself.

 

Girlfriend of the Week

This week's GOTW goes out to the hot girl in the post below:  Nazneen Contractor.  She plays Kayla on this season's 24.  She is apparently from India or something, honestly though, who cares.  She is hot.  Also she is a practicing member of Zoroastrianism, which is much cooler than Christianity.  Well it is as cool as a religion can be...

24: 1:00 a.m. to 2:00 a.m.

The cool thing so far seems to be the lack of insane twist, like agents from Venezuela show up with another nuclear bomb.  Nothing worse than the first terrorist plot being a ploy for a second, bigger plot.  That has been the problem the last few seasons.  That and characters doing completely idiotic things...

-Why do people never respond like sane people on this show?  Remember during last season when Jack was in the hospital with a suspect, and the dude comes in, gives him some kind of paralyzing poison, then frames Jack for the suspects murder?  What does Jack do?  Stick around and explain to the FBI what happened, demand they test his blood for some kind of drug?  No, he runs away.

What is the point?  Why would Tarin and Kayla just run off to some hotel?  It makes them look incredibly guilty.  I suppose the prospect of being tortured might cause someone to flee...and is Tarin the Arab version of Jack Bauer?  And what better way to hole up in a hotel then with some hot chick having premarital sex.

-We all know that Owen is going to die at some point.  It is just a matter of time.  When he does finally take a bullet, probably saving Jack's life, and Cole returns a few moments later, how pissed will Jack be at Cole?  Anyone else excited to see Kiefer beat up Freddie?

-Speaking of Cole and Dana.  They will get fired when the return to CTU, right?  Everyone else in this show gets crucified for making mistakes.  Secretary of state disagrees with nuking a country, he must resign.  Some key employees of CTU disappear during a terrorist attack?  Slap on the wrist.

-I never picture NYC as a swampy place...Gideon, can we go to that swamp and poke dead bodies with a stick.  Also, I thought the East River was where you go to dump bodies?

-When the episode ended with the kid in the pressure chamber, my first thought was:  WHAT?  The old Jack would just threaten to have his mom brought in and tortured in front of his eyes.  You don't think Jack would do something like that?

Remember when he threatened some foreign guy by having him watch a video of soldiers shooting his family (granted it was all a setup, but still).  Remember when he quit CTU for like one hour so he could go break the fingers of some Amnesty lawyer?  Or was that the US Marshall?  Remember the dude in the limo from I think season one, where he twists the towel down his throat? 

Fortunately the preview came on for next week and we see that Jack already thought about connecting the lil' Terrorist Boy with his mommy.  I will be disappointed if at some point Jack does not pull his gun on the woman and scream "YOU HAVE 'TIL THE COUNT OF THREE TO OPEN UP OR I SWEAR I WILL BLOW YOUR MOTHERS HEAD OFF!"

Also, one last thing, I thought hospitals and most major buildings used really strong windows.  Ones that people just can't jog through.  Just once, I want to see someone run at window and bounce off.  Would be hilarious.

24: 12:00 a.m. to 1:00 a.m.

This was a pretty good episode, and then the last ten minutes (maybe not that long, but it felt like it) focused on Cole and Dana.  It just annoyed me and I wanted to strangle someone.  Needless to say, maybe that storyline is over with (probably not, now there will be ramifications with the two morons deaths).

My initial thought during last week's preview, when Jack tells the guard to put the gun down or he would get hurt, was "has CTU not figured out to train guards not to challenge Jack Bauer".   Apparently that was on page six of the guard manual.  The dude just lets Jack pass by and another guard zaps him from behind.

I also loved the way Jack gets cocky about being able to lead the team.  CTU has no other agent working there that is not a 16 year old newbie? 

It was obvious that the bad guys were going to turn on Farrad at any moment.  In fact, how could any badass terrorist organization take that guy seriously?  He sounds like such a whiny bitch.  I wonder who the real evil mastermind will turn out to be?  And will we see Tony at some point?  Or is he dead, or in jail.  I cannot remember.

Maybe it will turn out to be Michelle.  She never actually died, she faked her own death in order to start her own terrorist group.  Yep, you heard it here first folks.

Also, maybe the movie version can have Jack and Renee traveling the world killing terrorists.  They would be such a happy couple...

24: 11:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m.

Jack gets tortured.  Then goes on a rampage and kills all the Russians.  I definitely had a few funny thoughts during the show though.

-Has Jack never seen the movie Die Hard?  Grab some shoes before you go out to face the rest of the bad guys.

-Wait, someone from CTU actually defers to Jack's judgment?  Wow, Hastings may be the best CTU leader of all time.

-How many times has Jack killed a potential witness?  Renee does it one time and they are ready to crucify her.  That does not seem very fair.

-When Jack takes down Sergei, he sits down and takes a breather.  What if there was another guard outside the building having a smoke?  That dude would have gotten promoted real quick.

-I was pretty sure that Joseph would do something like steal the nuclear rods, since he seemed to be taking burying his brother pretty well. 

-Please tell me that Dana will take a bullet soon, she is so damn annoying.  In fact, aside from the main story, the rest of the show blows.  President Hassan sucks, he goes from being this great leader, to a paranoid psycho in less than six hours.

-What the hell happened to all of Jack's scars?  Or were the Chinese kind enough to only leave them on his back? 

-Apparently, Sergei has no clue where the rendezvous point happens to be.  He couldn't just say to Jack "oh, they must have taken them to Farhad at the docks, you can meet them there."  

-Let me get this straight, Farhad and his military supporters needed President Hassan dead before they could start making nuclear weapons, yet after the failed assassination, the general informs Farhad that the plan is already set into motion.  Why not just get the nuclear rods a few days before?  If the Russians had to wait for them to get to the US (which seems stupid, why not just have them safely tucked away in a cargo ship at sea?), then why not just bypass the US and go right to whatever country you are selling them to?  Way too many holes in this plan.

24: 10:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m.

It was a pretty lackluster episode.  I was actually nodding off during parts of it.  Then all of a sudden, Renee is stabbing the shit out of Vlad, Jack tries to grab her, but she buries the knife in his gut.  Vlad's main henchman comes in and Jack pulls the knife out and throws it across the room sticking the guy in the throat.

So far Jack has killed guys with an ax and a throwing knife.  This season would be complete if he starts using a chainsaw.  Or a giant broadsword. 

That being said, the rest of the subplots suck.  I look forward to seeing Jack get tortured.  Although, how many times have we seen him get the torture treatment?  He never breaks.  Christ, are they going to see the scars from his Chinese torture sessions?  I love in Joe Abercrombie's books, when Glokta is asked if he talked when he was tortured "of course I did.  I told them everything I knew, then I started making up stuff."  I may have paraphrased.

As Scotus points out over at DCUniverse, the part where Kevin gets the numbers backwards is kind of funny.  Mainly because Jack never forgets minute details.  Chloe will be like "Jack the serial number you need is 45HRJ3242354524253452345265657356524355768879525435" and Jack would rattle it off like three episodes later. 

24: 9:00 p.m. to 10 p.m.

So basically here is what happened during this episode:  Jack rides around in a car, President Hassan and Dana are both morons, Renee gets naked, and some Russians died.  In fact, I think this episode was only like a half hour long, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

The only cool moments happened when Jack finally gets out of the car and meets with the Russians.  They question his lack of German accent, he mocks them for being dirty Russians.  Once the money is transferred they go to shoot Jack and then the big surprise happens:  Jack was actually waiting for it!  He had Freddie Prinze Jr. sniping the entire time.  Normally Jack would never let anyone else be part of his missions.  He must be coming a long way.

And the other highlight:  Renee dripping wet in a towel.  Did she have sex with that Russian guy, and if so, did it really only last like five minutes?  Good for the Russian guy, but for Renee, I would at least last seven minutes.